Something Larger Than Myself

February 14th... Is there any other day that forces us to re-evaluate our romantic barometer? Well, all in all I'm doing well. I know my last post was pretty low, and pathetic. I think part of it, is the new change and anxiety that comes from being new at something.

I've been moving forward, letting my feet lead, even if my heart has been doubtful. So far I'm doing good. I seem to prove myself wrong all the time is this area.. Just when I think I don't pass or I'm being clocked... some dude totally give's me a compliment, while at the grocery store or gas station. Then I get really confused and have to chide myself for being such a skeptic. I'm getting better and better all the time, at knowing who I am, without outside confirmation and critique. That's where I want to be. I don't want to be dependent on what others think or feel. Boyfriend or not. Beauty or not. Genetic or not, etc.

I went out last weekend, with some gals from my work. It was freaking awesome. We met up, had some drinks and walked about the town like we were the shit! At one point it was 5 of us walking in line down the sidewalk, forcing others to walk around us. For that brief moment I felt this power of being part of something larger than myself. I was one of girls.We had a crazy, fun night. I even got hit on several times and was asked to dance by some burly cowboy.. lol!

So life goes on, and I find my significance in small ways, in the quiet of my alone time, in the bustle of a late city night, and from the deeper wisdom that I know from eternity.

Elle