Subtle Smiles From Inside My Soul

Im sitting at work right now, thinking of all the things going on in my life. I just keep smiling about stuff, ie: getting closer to being me, esp. when I look in the mirror, possibilities of romance, redecorating my new place, clothes, friends... All from the perspective of being a woman. I realize now how happy it makes me to really experience life from this side of the gender line. It all underscores for me, the fact that I have made a good and right choice going down this long and arduous road. Noticing subtle smiles inside my soul from time to time; Its one of those small observations, that I wouldnt notice unless I stopped and thought about it. My life recently has been full of ups and downs, and lately Im making it a point to "stop and smell the roses". The great thing is that, along with appreciating the roses, there's usually something great in that garden thats worth finding, that you were unaware of. I liken these moments to meditation and experiences of spiritual significance. I have longed to find that sweet connection that I once knew, feeling in line with myself and the universe. It makes me think of a cliche, that is so true, from a hilarious show I recently watched, called Ru Paul's- Drag Race, about a drag queen contest. Im not a queen, but she always said. "If you cant love your self, how the hell are you gonna love someone else?" and its so true. And if I cant love anyone else, Im going to have a hard time enjoying or loving anything else (like my life) .