The sun shines out of our behinds

Over the last months, I'd had privately decided that I was going to focus on building my internal self, strength, esteem, independence, etc. Preparing myself to be "ready" for this "person" to come along.. so when they arrived, I could feel like I was a whole person. I had taken a holiday with dating, or more precisely..spending time concerning myself with the idea of dating. Its not that I had fan mail flooding my mail box or banging on my door, wanting to go out. I just came to the realization that I was spending too much energy on that concern, when I felt like I had "work" to do on myself.

So I started what my friend called "my monk training" of focused meditation and celibacy, I wasn't really being religious about it or anything.. but that's kinda what it was like i suppose. I also generally believe that if one "needs" to have a boyfriend (or girlfriend), than you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. I think ultimately if you're not content with yourself, by yourself, then what is there to love or be attracted to? (from your partners perspective). It is unfair and unrealistic to put that burden of your happiness on another persons shoulders, they will surely fail, sooner or later. To me there are few things more attractive than someone who really knows who they are, and are happy with themselves. So much crap in relationships originates from insecurity, compensating, fear, and jealousy.. much of which stems from not being OK with yourself... so.... in a long winded way.. that was my goal, to be that partner... who, for the most part.. had their "shite" together!

I feel like in many ways my journey over the last years has been a refining process to accomplish alot of that, but more recently I had specifically made that my focus. I honestly feel like I have accomplished a sense of independence, strength and contentedness, all without a "partner". I have found that my friendships, family, community have been integral in my source of strength... Of course these types of things are never really accomplished or achieved, but they are an ongoing process. However, I believe I'm solidly on the path towards those ideals, which is alot more than I could have said before.

So now in many ways, I was at that place where I could say with a good amount of confidence, "I'm ready, be in a relationship", I had passed my proverbial tests, and the universe in its perfect timing, literally knocked on my door.

There I was minding my own business, I really was.. when the note arrived and she knocked at my door. Years had passed, lives had changed, relationships had come and gone, and in few days time... there we were, hearts beating in unison, eyes piercing into each others souls. We stood there,challenged, it seemed. I was now a woman, who had made peace and found joy in the love of a man and She was straight..and a woman! We'd made our lives in different worlds, but it was undeniable, the pull, the connection, and the depth we shared. We were star crossed lovers. Nothing could now keep us apart, try as it may.. we would not let let it! Not time, space, lovers, mountains, gender, family, friends, nothing.


Hand in glove
The sun shines out of our behinds
No, it's not like any other love
This one is different - because it's us

Hand in glove
We can go wherever we please
And everything depends upon
How near you stand to me

And if the people stare
Then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care

Kiss My Shades

Hand in glove
The Good People laugh
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something they'll never have