Why cant I find the right guy!? A perplexing question I've been asking myself.. I been spending alot of time with the new guy.. even went to a 4th of July party, met 
the fam! wow was that scary.. I passed and it wasn't an issue.. but sheesh how crazy! I feel more and more comfortable in my girl skin these days.. its really quite wonderful. So yeah.. he's cute, smart, going places.. but damn it! I'm still not convinced that he's the one..
the fam! wow was that scary.. I passed and it wasn't an issue.. but sheesh how crazy! I feel more and more comfortable in my girl skin these days.. its really quite wonderful. So yeah.. he's cute, smart, going places.. but damn it! I'm still not convinced that he's the one.. I'm really upset that Ive never had a strong connection with a guy, whats wrong with me? Ive seriously been questioning my hetero status, because.. pre-hormones, I felt very bi-sexual, and my connection with other woman was pretty strong.. but I had this nagging in my brain that I wanted to be with a guy, all the while feeling bazaar about being a gay guy.. confused? I definitely was.. Now it all makes so much more sense.. I feel at home as the girl in a relationship (and girls are pretty much an after thought in the romantic sense) .. but the spark is still eluding me!
That was until last weekend... I met someone... I think I'm kinda in love! gush gush, so maybe it is possible? We went on a bike ride and chatted a bunch, had lunch, dinner, a movie, and were generally inseperable... and I was all silly with a dumb smile.. haha. Time will tell, but before I get ahead of myself, I'm ending things with the last boy.. I'll keep ya posted on the drama. ;)
On less a thrilling note, Ive chatted with my Mum a few more times, still no progress, but were talking.. snore... My aunt is seriously ill.. and I'll have to see family.. ugh! So Im going into boy mode a few more times.. but not much longer! Soon I shall and will put my (high heeled) foot down!
Be True, Be Brave and Be Safe!
♥Elle
Thanks for the update Elle!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you'll have to go back into boy mode -- I had to switch back and forth for about 3 weeks before I went full time (because I hadn't come out at work yet). (I should note that I had already done 4 years of electro by that time.) I found it to be somewhat schizophrenic. After finally going full time, I don't think I could have ever gone back.
I hope your Aunt does better, and that you have a more pleasant time with your family than you're predicting.
Peace,
Cynthia